I learned something new this week. With botox numbers increasing daily, i wonder if people realize what exactly their injecting into their faces.

Botox is short for Botulinum Toxin.

Give me back that filet of fish!!



One of the most brilliant commercial tunes I've ever heard in my life.

I have never craved a filet of fish sandwich...EVER. I dont even like to admit I eat at that wretched place of financial wonderment.  But after hearing that catchy tune and not being able remove it from my sticky brain, I..Ruthe Charles, bought my first filet of fish sandwich...and... i liked it. 

What i didn't like was that my bank held that payment for over 8 days and screwed me up landing me in a downward spiral of overdraft charges. 

FUCK YOU SUNTRUST!

Now that I've gotten that out of my system..  I would like to talk now about what I mentioned last week.  I have an acquaintence of mine who, for some reason, revealed to me that he once had sex to the musical tune "sandstorm" and gave himself one of the most intense cramps he's ever had in his life.  

He regretted that decision...

...I laughed.

Then it made me think, What was he thinking?!? It just seems humanly impossible for someone to keep up with such a fast pace song.  Now I want to think of more songs that are a bad idea for that "act". If you have any other songs that you can think of send them my way. I would like to make a top ten list, but i need yo' help! holla at me!


For everyone who doesn't know the tune sandstorm i found a youtube clip below. I also listed two more songs I think are inappropriate for sweet lovin.




This video makes me laugh..click on it and you'll know why. The William Tell Overture

Flight of the Mutha Effin Bumblebee!!


Sandstorm

This week was my big show @ the Recher Theatre in Towson, MD!

The Band Roster was as follows...
Beretta Jane
Skitzo Calypso
Outreach
MEEEEEEEEE
Storm The Beaches

Needless to say it was AWESOME!!! All of the bands gave it to everyone....hard!..and in all the right places! I had 3 eargasms that night and I was left wanting more! For this night in particular I told everyone that I had a surprise. My mom didn't even know what I had planned. Half way through my set Not only did my band bust out a cover of "Single Ladies"  but My little brothers joined me on stage to do a choreographed dance to the song. It went better than I could have imagined and The looks on peoples faces were priceless! Dont worry if you missed the show, As soon as I get the video you betta KNOW that its going to be on youtube faster than you can say " I cant believe its not butter!"

Speaking of which...what ever happened to Fabio? Last I heard he got addicted to World of Warcraft and hasn't been seen for a few months... 




And I dont even think he likes butter anymore...

DAMN YOU W.O.W. ...DAMN UUUUUUU!!!



I cant wait till my next show and I cant wait till My next blog.  It is going to be very....lets just say...muy muy interesante!! 

peace!


P.S. here is a pic of me and my lil bros from the show courtesy of Kenn Chisholm

 

I feel like Such a Ham



I forgot to post a blog last week. After band rehearsal I was hanging out with the guys and It completely slipped my mind.  A thousand apologies! a thousand and a half?? I hope we can still be... friends.

So The other day while driving I was passing an unusual bit of roadkill.  Within a mile it went from an opossum, to a cat, to a raccoon, to a moose, the moose was a lie, to a squirrel.  Even though it always leaves a bad feeling to run over any helpless animal... I dont think anything can be worse than running over a turtle.  

 I had just learned how to drive and I was riding down a hill and heard POP... CRACK. I was like, "oh my gosh no..God no please dont let this be a turtle".  I got out of my car and sure enough there it was. I felt like such a killer.  It looked like a big smooshed skittle. Of course I cried, but nothing I could do would erase that noise out of my head.  So occasionally it'll come back up and i'll cringe and say a little prayer for him in turtle heaven.

Who is more clean: a baby, a teenager or an old woman?

a question proposed by the instructor of my old life guarding class.  We were discussing mouth to mouth and being cautious. Everyone was like, "THE BABY!" "THE OLD LADY" I was like "hell no! not the old lady! She's had her time to get around the town and back again.  The point was to trust no one, everyone is diseased.  Its so true though, you just never know who's gonna give you the mutha effing clap.  

BE SAFE!!

 So There were 3 drunk college girls and 2 guys with dreads riding on the metro.  Sound like the introduction of a really bad joke? I wish it was.  I have to admit It was quite entertaining though. Not only did they try and impress the girls with their knowledge of alchohol (finding common ground a plus) but at the end of the conversation when the girls were clearly affected by their beer goggles and ready to jump outta them pants.. The main guy offered them rice crispy treats which he conveniently had a WHOLE BOX of in his bag. 

The girls declined...

I laughed...

WHO CARRIES RICE CRISPY TREATS IN THEIR BAG! its just funny...

Speaking of funny, the most random memories of my childhood are springing back up out of no where.  My brother once had a stretch arm strong doll. Dont remember what that is? well check out this vid to remind you.


It was the coolest thing ever.  Somehow though my brother managed to tear a hole in it to find the best present of all..the secret to Stretch Arm Strong.  The gooey substance of which stretch arm strong was made tasted like candy.  He shared the secret with me and we slowly devoured the christmas present.  Good thing it wasn't toxic! and yes, we got in big trouble for that.  I found out years later that many other kids found out the delicious secret too!

While searching for the stretch armstrong video a bunch of random videos for 70's commercials popped up and I watched them out of curiosity.  I realized that a lot of the toys or advertisements were either hilarious,creepy or borderline innappropriate.  I hope you enjoy. Peace!!



I kinda wish kid's imaginations were back to the way it was a while ago.  i love this video.

CAPTAIN CRUNCH!!!!

 No, I'm not talking about Venereal Disease I'm talking about Valentines Day. I've always hated it and that will never change.

I typed "Valentines Day throw up" into google images and this picture popped up


]

I thought it was perfect. Nothing says valentines day more than "Hairy" and "painful"

Love your woman or man everyday! Dont let some stupid day control when you do something nice for someone or take someone out!

Gosh. seriously. I need to stop being so angry.

I did have a bit of happiness this week though. Besides me convincing myself that I had a brain tumor and having to get a cat scan, the grammys were this week. That wasn't what excited me though. I personally think the Grammys sucked hard. The only good thing from that was the M.I.A. performance. If you did not get a chance to see it or even know the circumstances...she was 9 months pregnant and due on the day of the Grammy's. She performed anyway and still rocked it. It inspired me completely. I wont let anything get in the way of what I want to accomplish!

She also posted this video on her blog. it made me laugh

 I managed to get more sleep this week.  You'd think I'd be more rested and my dreams would become more pleasant but no...the whole time I was running from zombies with long blonde extensions.  Oh yeah there was also a killer whale and for some reason I was carrying an abnormally small baby on my chest the whole time.

WHAT IS THAT BABY!

I went to 2 local rock shows this week. On Monday I went to check out the band Fall Back Plan at  "Noise In The Basement Live" @ Fletchers in Baltimore, Maryland Hosted by DJ Matt Davis.  I really enjoyed myself, except for when I almost got peed on by a random drunk guy.  True Story.

Friday I went to the Recher Theatre in Towson. I love that Venue!  I finally got to see  "Loving the Lie" perform. Those guys are great! another cool band i was able to catch was "Outreach" 

Needless to say, I was exhausted when I got home.  I fell asleep on my couch watching tv and woke up to something amazing.  I'm sure you've all seen the Extenze commercials for penis enlargement.  Well I realized something life changing as I watched.

The spokesman for extenze looks an awful lot like Stephen Colbert.  If for some reason you dont know who I'm talking about I've posted a youtube clip of the extenze commercial and a picture of funny man Stephen colbert.  Enjoy! 

See you next monday!

 

 

 

They've gotta be related somehow

 

 

 

 

P.S. Im playing a show at The Recher Theatre in Towson, MD March 28th! I'm opening for Beretta Jane. Its gonna be killer!!!

It shouldn't be a hard task. 
Sleeping should be as easy as closing your eyes and drifting away to slumberland.  

 

Not for this girl ======>

 

 

I never sleep. I am too busy thinking about useless information or pointless things i've seen during the day.  If I turn the lights off and close my eyes I'm thinking about the woman on the metro train who was yelling at her 3 year old for yelling "fuck" or the man from the stoneage who was sitting across from me using a cassette tape walkman.  Somebody get this guy an ipod!  I now wish that I had asked him what He was listening to.  I will most likely wonder about it for the next few weeks. 

Usually when I want something, I take it. Or if I want to know something I ask.  My teacher in elementary school used to always say, "the only stupid question is the one not asked".  I beg to differ.  There are many questions I'd like to ask that I should keep to myself. like..

"Why couldn't they name the product 'Vagisil' something less obvious?"  There is no hiding it lady...your Vagina is on the Fritz!

I really think my lack of sleep is getting to me though.  It has passed the point of being able to hide it.  People are starting to tell me "woah, you look rough" and "wow, whats wrong with your face". Not...Good.  I am too young to be worrying about bags or wrinkles! I also have been trying to save money so  i've only been eating Ramen noodles.  I've got to stop before its too late!  

Lack of Sleep + eating only ramen = nasty nasty Ruthe

This week I promise to cook a real meal.  Vegetables with some sort of meat product along with some sort of starch.  I'm already hungry thinking about it! =)

Maybe next week I'll blog about what I cooked. Or if I even cook at all.  Well there's only one way to find out. See you next monday!

-Ruthe

P.S. This Video made me laugh

 

Hello All!

My name is Ruthe Charles.  I'm smaller than your average Joe but  bigger than a breadbox.  I'm a writer/singer/musician/people watcher/entertainer.  Ive always been: the underdog, the kid the teacher always moved to the back of the class for laughing or writing notes and the girl the boys never liked because I was well...one of the guys.  I have a strange fascination with the male genitalia and up until the age of 15 I had unhealthy penis envy.  

Sometimes my life feels like a movie.  I am always up to something, mostly just from my curiosity.  My brain never stops thinking and my eyes never stop observing.  I attribute all of my strange characteristics to me being sheltered most of my life.  Not just your average "shelteredness"... Is that a word? But Literally, sheltered from the world.  I have 8 brothers and 3 sisters and yes, from the same two parents.  I am the middle child. Laughter quickly became my siblings and I's best friend.  We were not allowed to listen to Music, watch tv or go many places.  We secretly did watch a few select TV shows: The Simpsons..Saved By The Bell..Full House..Fresh Prince..squiggly porn on the TV of our vacation hotel rooms...if you looked hard enough sometimes you could almost see a nipple!  I didn't have many real friends growing up besides my siblings and the ones I did have I thank you for putting up with my impulsive behavior.  I cannot sit still and I get bored very easily.  Even though I am a hopeless romantic, perhaps that is the reason I dont do well in relationships and it is the reason I cant listen to the radio everyday.  I hate hearing the same stuff over and over and over and over...you catch my drift.  Even if its a good song I can only listen to it but so many times a day before I want to jank someone in the mouth.

I am an optimist and a pessimist.  A  "pessimoptimist"

n. Pessimoptimist
    1. Someone who used to be only optimistic but found being completely optimistic only brought dissapointment
    2. Someone who became completely pessimistic because their complete optimism brought on anger and rage, so they combine the two to keep a healthy balance

   Synonym:  n. Realist
   Antonym :  n. Asshole


Well there you have it. My first journal Entry. I may be a "little behind" or seem completely lost if you're talking about anything that happened before 2002.  Who cares if my cards dealt in the poker game of life werent that great.  I've learned how to play them well and I will continue to catch up on music/history/anything Ive missed that I should know. Imagine the look on my friends face a few years ago when he found out I didn't even know who Prince was.  Blank look, grabbed me, sat me down in front of the TV and popped in DVD after DVD of Prince.  Yeah...thats all I gotta say about that.  See you next monday!

-Ruthe

 I'm not sure what i was waiting for! 

I should have done this a long time ago. I always have something to say about something and I always notice the most random things.  So Monday, January 26th I will post my first Intro Blog! 


-Ruthe